Artists Unite Issue

Hello Shadowy Creatures of the Night,

As you know, on June 8th, Sunday, at 7:30 Life in a Blender will be playing
at Joe’s Pub in New York City with a contorted new horn section that recalls
the bugles of Appomatox. I consider them each brave warriors. The U.S. mint
should issue a coin with all their faces somewhere on it. So I suggest you rummage
around in your desk drawer for that Sharpie–give it a little sniff–go
ahead–and mark June 8th with a big X. Now pop a danish in the microwave, get that
cup of coffee, stand by the window and watch the children running…running
down the street….as if they had ants in their pants…but no it’s probably not
ants or at least not real ants…yes, it’s the school bell beckoning them to
another day of brain fertilization. You can almost see the the seeds of
intelligence taking root in the head of little Tubby Winkle as he tries so valiantly
to keep up with the other children. “Run, Tubby, Run!” you think to yourself
as you watch him, coffee cup in hand, robe left slightly ajar to let in the
gentle morning breeze. Ahh, thank god I live in suburban America where I’m free
to do and think and…oh yes…feel whatever it is I’m feeling without having
to pay a fine or suffer a scolding. That’s why my baby can wear this American
flag diaper and my husband can keep a collection of false Hitler moustaches
hidden in his underwear drawer. Freedom. I hear it ringing like the school bell
down the street. Or buzzing like my digital alarm clock in the morning,
waking me for the early shift. I hear it’s robotic voice calling Free-dom.
Free-dom. Get up and work now. I am in such a reverie. Ding-dong. It’s the door bell.
Who could it be? “Hello Ma’am, I’m the milkman. A wonderful morning, isn’t
it.? Beautiful morning for such a world full of hurt. Doncha think? Have you been
enjoying the milk I’ve been delivering to you for the last three months? You
have, have you? Well, let me ask you this then? Have you ever thought about
paying for that milk?” Of course, you have the money for his precious milk. Just
a minute. I’ll be right back. And off you go up the stairs, into the
bathroom, and harriedly scramble out the bathroom window. Into the backyard and
running….running…running. That milkman will never get catch you now. You’re
running to the arms of Life In a Blender. June 8th, Sunday, at 7:30. Our arms
await you.

If you really want to help, go to Joe’s Pub web site NOW and order tickets.